Patosha Jeffery, The Girls Basketball Trainer Blog » leadership

Separated to Be Elevated

Patosha Jeffery — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 21:22:31 +0000

Another Great John Di Lemme Tip.

If you are a Champion (and you are), then you will be promoted to greater and higher realms of leadership. Life has a way of elevating true Champions. Just as cream rises to the top of milk, true Champions rise to the top of companies, projects, and great events. When that happens, old relationships fall away. It can be emotional and difficult, but it’s part of the price of leadership. Champions must be separated from the crowd before they can be elevated into prominence.

I only hang out with Champions. My mastermind team consists wonderful, fired up, success maniacs that are striving to succeed in every area of their life. They support and encourage my “Why” in life, and I support them the same way. But, you know what? Not one of them is someone I knew from my past. Except for my parents and some family, not one of my friends from my old days is around me today. Think about that; I was separated away from the lower levels. That’s not prideful talk. I’m humbled and grateful for the blessings of God that have elevated me. But, I’m telling you that one of the prices that Champions have to pay is being separated from the old gang.

I won’t even try to convince you that this is an easy process. Sometimes it happens naturally after you begin to immerse yourself in positive self-development materials and activities. One day you look around, and you are surrounded by positive, like-minded people. Believe me, negative naysayers don’t want to hang around with someone that is always speaking empowering words or has a positive outlook on life despite the obstacles.

On the other hand, sometimes those friends that are always dragging you down just decide to hang around and try harder to squash your Why in life. What do you do? You have to exercise the gift of goodbye. Explain to those people that you are on a path to success and you cannot allow them to steal your dreams. It’s like a bad apple in a barrel of delicious red apples. That bad apple becomes cankerous and destroys all of the bright, vibrant apples. This is what happens when you allow those so-called friends to continually badger you with their negative nonsense.

I readily admit that I am always ready to embrace goodbye. I only spend time with Champions. Of course, I’ll help someone that is struggling to find success. I am a mentor, and I’m pretty good at spotting the Champions fighting to get out of people. You’ve seen them too; they’re not addicted to negative attitudes and words. They are always searching the horizon in order to spot their future. When they see it, they go for it. I will always have time to help those people. I love them…Champions struggling to be born. It is not hateful to tell someone goodbye. Rather, it’s faithful. It’s faithful to your own dream and to live the life of a Champion. It’s not a personal thing. You shouldn’t be cruel or dismissive of others, but you have to respond to the call of success. That call will always separate you before it elevates you.

I have seen people elevated while trying to hang on to someone from the old days. If they continue, the old buddy will often trip them up. Not because he’s a bad guy, but because he’s addicted to negativity. It’s like eagles trying to hang out with pigeons. There’s nothing wrong with pigeons, but they will NEVER be eagles. You are an eagle! Fly higher than the pigeons and don’t look down. If you’re making $50,000 a year, start hanging out with people who make $200,000 a year. Learn their secrets. Ask them to teach you. That’s what “separated to be elevated” means. You make a choice about the kind of influences, the kind of people, the kind of books, the kind of movies and the kind of material that you will allow into your mind.

This is serious stuff. Listen to me. If you were determined to become physically fit and healthy, you wouldn’t continue to hang out with Twinkies, donuts, beer, and Doritos. You would find the gift of goodbye; you would move out of the old nutritional neighborhood. You would allow yourself to be separated from McDonalds and Pizza Hut in order to be elevated to healthy power foods. What if you tried to be healthy, but said, “I can’t leave my old friends – the fries, the cakes, the milk shakes – I can’t forsake them?” How long would your dream of health and physical fitness last? It’s the same thing with success and living as a Champion.

You have a decision to make. Are you going to be a Champion? Are you willing to pay the price? The struggle is vitally important. It does something in you and for you. I’ve never known a Champion who didn’t have to struggle with shaking off the old in order to embrace the new. The number of obstacles that you face in life will lay the foundation for massive growth.

Let me tell you, sometimes between the separated and the elevated, there is a very lonely period. You’ve been separated from your old friends and not yet integrated with lots of Champions. That is a real testing time. I was in my twenties when I made the decision to leave my old friends behind. At that time, I was surrounded by many so-called friends that called me everyday to hang out. It wasn’t until I began my success journey that I finally realized that I was wasting precious time by hanging out with that crowd. I wanted so much more out of life and believed I could achieve it. Unfortunately, my friends weren’t ready to step out in faith and build a new life for themselves. After a while, I noticed that the phone stopped ringing and I rarely saw any of those people. It was very lonely but I eventually met new friends that believed in me as much as I believed in myself and my Why in life.

If you want to achieve greatness in your life, then you have to make the decision to develop a mastermind team of positive, influential people that are success-driven and believe in you. Have you ever tried to steer a parked car? Not much excitement there. It’s far better to steer a car that’s moving. The power steering is flowing, the tires are moving on the highway, and you can gently and effortlessly glide that vehicle right up onto the road. When you try to steer from a parked, no power, cold-engine spot on the driveway, nothing happens. Success is like that. You will never be able to turn the key in your heart and travel down the road of success without first pulling out of the old, comfortable parking spot of negative associations.

You’re a Champion! Your car is already moving. The fact that you’re reading this article and not a comic book or other time-waster means that your car is moving pretty well. Just keep rolling . . . right on past the slower cars, the older cars and the beat-up pick-ups that have not been maintained. You were destined for higher elevations. It’s time to go for it!

Motivating Champions Worldwide !

The Most Dangerous Person in YOUR Life

Patosha Jeffery — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 21:19:34 +0000

I saw this a couple of years ago on John Di Lemme website, http://championslivefree.com.

Read It.. Think about It.

The Most Dangerous Person in YOUR Life

Who is the Most Dangerous Person in YOUR Life?

You may say that you have no such person in your life, but most likely you do and you just don’t know who they are. The majority of these people will not intentionally hurt you. It’s their actual character traits and their habits that will have a negative effect on your life.

So, what do these people look like? Most of them don’t have a certain look, but they do have many of the following traits.

These people

* Constantly speak negative
* See no light at the end of the tunnel
* Allow failure to be an option
* Don’t believe in dreams (yours or theirs)
* Want to “make” money rather than “earn” it
* Always have an opinion, which is negative
* Become complacent in their lives
* Make decisions that result in failure

Do you have these people on your Mastermind Team? If so, what are you going to do about it? You have two choices.

You can allow those people to control YOUR destiny with their negative opinions, failure mindset and inability to dream.

You can Love them, Leave them and Show them. What does that mean? You simply continue to care for them as a friend, associate, etc., but you no longer allow them to negatively impact your life. If they don’t like attending personal development seminars, then don’t invite them. If they don’t like your positive mastermind team members, then stop allowing them to join your mastermind team gatherings. How do you show them? You forge forward towards the achievement of your Why despite any obstacle that you encounter. Those people will start to see that you are serious and nothing will stop you!

I challenge you to look at the top ten people that you associate with in your life, write down their names and then beside their names write down what impact each person has on your life. If ANY of them are negative, then you have two choices. Which one will you chose?

Motivating Champions Worldwide…

Girls Basketball Quote of the Day

Patosha Jeffery — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 16:07:45 +0000

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
-Mark Victor Hansen

Success in Girls Basketball

Patosha Jeffery — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 21:25:52 +0000

You may begin to see posts on Alan Stein on a regular basis because I am really beginning to dig him. We are similar in some ways and it is refreshing to see that from an individual involved in basketball.

I first realized how much we were alike when I read this in one of his blog posts.

….I read a dozen books on leadership and watched numerous DVDs and YouTube clips on performance enhancement. I combed through notebooks of my own notes and took time to reflect and evaluate my entire program. Most importantly, I developed my plan for this coming pre-season.

I thought I was weird that I read self development books on leadership, team work, etc. And I have a library of basketball DVDs. You know I’m on youtube looking at basketball clips. You may not know that I’m always planning for my upcoming training sessions and future events..

So, long story short..I am a fan of Alan Stein.

Here is a nice piece he wrote on his blog about Success:

Success.

People put too much energy in the wanting part. All they do is sit around wishing, dreaming, and hoping for success.

Instead, they need to put their energy into deserving success. They need to put their focus into earning success. They have to put on their hard hat, roll up their sleeves, and work for success.

Don’t get it twisted… there is nothing wrong with having dreams. You should have dreams!

But unless you actively pursue those dreams with effort, determination, and persistence … they are meaningless.

Do you want to make the varsity team this year? Do you deserve to?

Do you want to win a championship? Do you deserve to?

Do you want to play basketball at the next level? Do you deserve to?

Elite level players and championship caliber programs know the difference between wanting and deserving success. Your pre-season program is when you make that distinction. Are you doing everything in your power to deserve success once the season starts?

Watch What You Say on Facebook, Twitter

Patosha Jeffery — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 02:07:38 +0000

image from ESPN Hoopgurlz

I knew eventually someone would write about it. I even had a conversation about this with a coach.

WE COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT HIGH SCHOOL PLAYERS WERE POSTING ON FACEBOOK.

Maybe the words from a former college basketball coach will make players think twice about what they post on Facebook and Twitter. You never know who is watching or reading!!!!

No matter what form of social media you might be using these days, coaching staffs are going to be doing their homework and checking out whatever it is you might be putting out there for the world to see. They’re going to read your posts, check out just who your friends might be, and you can absolutely bet they’re looking at the pictures you’re sharing.

Click here for the complete ESPN HoopGurlz article by Mark Lewis

How Attitude Determines Your Altitude in Girls Basketball

Patosha Jeffery — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:30:03 +0000

Have you ever heard the saying “Your Attitude determines Your Altitude”.

The way you think about situations in basketball will determine how far you will get in your basketball career.

In this video, I explain how coaches determine who will get in the game during certain situations. I also talk about my philosophy of how great players become great (Next Top Baller).

How to stop getting frustrated at your teammates ?

Patosha Jeffery — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:35:18 +0000

If you are on a girls basketball team with average or below average players, don’t yell at them. That’s when its time to step up and be a leader and encourage them. By yelling at your teammates you are further discouraging them and making them not trust you as a leader.

Find ways to make your teammates better and contributors to the team. Talk to your teammates and develop goals of what you would like to accomplish as a team. And always be encouraging and positive towards them.